Empathy Matters

It is neither toxic nor sinful.

Christians are publishing books, doing podcasts, and putting out videos on YouTube about “toxic empathy,” “the sin of empathy,” and the like. As I’ve looked into how these things have been argued and explained, there are some confusions. This is in part due to the culture war mentality of some who make such claims, but it also reveals a lack of deeper investigation and understanding. Some contemporary Christian critics of empathy simply reject it outright. Some look at a distorted version of empathy and condemn that distorted version. But then they condemn the proper applications of a proper understanding of empathy. This is bad logic at best, and bad faith at worst.

What is empathy?

Properly understood, empathy is a deeply important trait and skill for human beings to have and exercise. It is also deeply Christian, because it is deeply Christlike.

A good start at a working definition of empathy from both psychology and philosophy is “understanding that another is experiencing an emotion, and feeling an emotion that is similar to what the other feels because the other feels it” (Snow, 2000). For example, when I understand that another person is feeling sad, hopeless, or lonely, I feel a similar sadness, hopelessness, or loneliness in solidarity with them. I don’t feel lonely in exactly the same way, but I feel something similar to what they feel because they feel it. Empathy involves the ability to do this. It is something we can get better at as we curiously seek to understand what life is like for others, from their perspective. This taking on of the perspective of others is a part of empathy, too.

We can grow in our ability to see and experience what life is like for another person. The empathic person has this skill, and is disposed to use it.

Why empathy matters

First, empathy matters because it matters to Jesus. We are to imitate him. It is clear that Jesus displays empathy over and over again in the gospels. He shows empathy for the poor, the sick, the lost, the suffering, for us. Jesus empathizes with the entire human race. His empathy is part of the reason he came on our behalf! A careful reading of the gospels makes this immediately apparent. If we reject or avoid empathy on behalf of the poor, the sick, the lost, or the suffering, we are rejecting the Way of Jesus.

Empathy plays a central role in Christlikeness in another way. Empathy is a dimension of and is essential to many Christian virtues. Consider the virtue of compassion, which includes empathy (Austin, 2012). Compassion involves the disposition to believe that the suffering of others matters. Why? For Christians, it is because all humans have inherent dignity and value grounded in the fact that we all bear God’s image. The virtue of compassion includes the belief that someone is suffering in some way, and that it matters. In compassion, we are also pained by that suffering. Finally, the virtue of compassion disposes us to act to relieve the suffering. We see this in the life of Jesus, where his compassion led him to pray for others (Matthew 9), and to feed and heal those in need (Matthew 14).

Empathy is relevant for virtues like love, humility, forgiveness, and many others. Empathy causes us to act unselfishly for the good of others, which is a part of all of these virtues. It moves us to help others when they need it. If we want to grow in Christian virtue, to become “little Christs,” then we will need to have and show empathy.

“Evil, I think, is the absence of empathy.”

~ Capt. G.M. Gilbert, Army psychologist observing Nazi defendants at the Nuremberg trials.

A lack of empathy is morally and spiritually dangerous, both for ourselves and others. Empathy for others is short-circuited, or even undermined, when we see others as less than us, or less than fully human. When we see someone else, or some other group of people, as morally or culturally inferior, this can undermine empathy, and therefore undermine virtue (Trivigno, 2013).

Think about how some in the U.S. speak about people from other nations. There is too much dehumanizing language, too much dismissing of millions of human beings as evil, or unintelligent, or somehow inferior. Too many speak and act and believe as if we are good, we are morally superior, while they are bad, they are evil, they are dangerous.

We also speak this way about one another, our fellow Americans. The polarization that is so prevalent in our society, and the language that often feeds it, undermines empathy and therefore undermines virtue. “All Democrats are demons.” “All Republicans are repugnant.” “Atheists don’t believe in morality.” “All pro-lifers are misogynistic pigs.” “All pro-choicers believe it’s okay to murder babies.” Examples abound. Words matter, but more than words is in play here. Words reveal attitudes and the condition of the heart. They also shape the heart. We need to take this as seriously as Jesus does:

But the things that come out of a person’s mouth come from the heart, and these defile them. For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what defile a person (Mt. 15:18-20).

If our speech reveals a calloused heart, we cannot ignore that or take it lightly. And we must not foster division based on the dehumanization of others that comes from fear, lust for power, or desire for wealth. If our words are toxic to empathy, in ourselves or others, we must change how we talk. More fundamentally, we must open ourselves up to the Spirit to change who we are.

Christians should be champions for and exemplars of empathy. This is the Way of Jesus. It should be our way as well.

Resources

• Nancy Snow, “Empathy,” American Philosophical Quarterly 37 (2000): 65-78.

• Michael W. Austin and R. Douglas Geivett, eds. Being Good: Christian Virtues for Everyday Life (Eerdmans, 2012).

• Franco Trivigno, “A Virtue Ethical Case for Pacifism,” Virtues in Action (Palgrave Macmillan, 2013).

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash