Talk about humility gives occasion for pride to the proud and humility to the humble…Few speak humbly of humility…We are nothing but lies, duplicity, contradiction, and we hide and disguise ourselves from others.
~Blaise Pascal
These are some very strong words from the 17th century Christian philosopher and mathematician. I think the claim that we are “nothing but lies, duplicity, contradiction” is too strong. We are also creatures made in the image of God. This means we also can exemplify and value truth, integrity, and consistency of thought and deed. Nevertheless, Pascal puts his finger on some common human vulnerabilities and weaknesses. We are broken and and fallen in so many ways. We need, among other things, more humility.
But why is humility so hard for us? Why is this virtue so difficult for human beings?
First, as some have argued, the central vice of our rebellion against God is pride. This self-centered, egotistical, and self-aggrandizing vice is destructive to our individual character, the communities where it is expressed, our relationships with others, and ultimately our relationship with God. In pride we grasp for what we believe is rightfully ours, regardless of the impact of this on our souls and the souls of other people. Ultimately, in pride we set our desires, our perceived interests, indeed, our very selves above God. So much human suffering can be traced back to this.
Second, the recurring human lusts for power, pleasure, and wealth make humility hard for us. A full account of the ways humans have neglected, used, and exploited one another for one or more of these would reveal much about us, and our eager willingness to put ourselves above others, no matter the cost to them. Sadly, the body of evidence for this is constantly increasing across our planet. It is so clear that as ultimate goods, neither power, pleasure, nor wealth satisfy us, nor do they make the world a better place for all of us to flourish. Nevertheless, the human quest for life where only death is found continues.
There are many other reasons that humility is hard for us. But what can we do? How can we cultivate humility in ourselves, bring it into our relationships with others, and ultimately see it in our relationship with God? I offer several suggestions for cultivating humility in my most recent book, but here are a couple that jump to mind not included there.
First, spend some time with a close and trusted friend in conversation about these issues. It could be a spouse, or another person who knows you well and that you trust deeply. Ask them where they see pride in your life and where they see humility in it. Then make this a matter of prayer and further conversation down the line. Growth will be likely be slow. That’s okay. This in itself is a reason for humility, and acceptance of it a sign of this virtue.
Second, look for exemplars of humility, either in real life or fiction. Exemplars help us see humility in action, and gives us the imaginative tools to help us implement it in our own lives. One of my favorite examples of humility is from Les Miserables. In this version of the film, Jean Valjean steals valuable silver from a priest and physically assaults him, a priest who has taken him in, providing food and shelter. The police bring Valjean back to the priest the next day, and this is what ensues in the next 2 minutes:
This is true humility. It is a disposition to put the interests of others ahead of one’s own. The priest would have been within his rights to demand justice here, sending Valjean back to prison. But instead, he sacrificially, and with humility, offers him mercy and love. What a beautiful picture of humility. With this, and other examples, we can not only be inspired to pursue humility in Christ, we can come to understand what it might look like in our daily lives and begin to exemplify it more and more. We might lose some silver - or power, pleasure, and wealth - but what we’ll gain is worth incomparably more.