The teenager who wants nothing more than a big YouTube channel following.
The aspiring actor or musician who longs for fame.
The pastor who seeks celebrity and a big platform.
The professor who wants notoriety in their little corner of academia.
And the rest of us, who care too much about what other people think about us.
We know what vainglory is, even if we don't use this term. We see it in others. We experience it in ourselves. Carly Simon sang about it. In Glittering Vices, Rebecca Konyndyk DeYoung writes about it. She defines vainglory as “the excessive and disordered desire for recognition and approval from others” (p. 42). It is perfectly fine to want some recognition and approval for the good things that we’ve done, and the goodness that we embody. Vainglory arises when we want too much recognition, or are too concerned about what others think of us and our accomplishments. When our desire for praise, approval, or recognition from others is strong or even dominates our lives, vainglory has taken root in us.
The problem with vainglory can be understood when we consider the ways that it is a disordered desire for praise and approval from others, or receiving glory from them.
Sometimes, it’s that we want to receive glory from others for the wrong things. It could be something as shallow as having six-pack abs or something that neither satisfies nor lasts, such as a job at a prestigious company or university. Augustine writes about the praise he received from his friends for his sexual exploits as a young man. All of these are examples of vainglory.
At other times, we desire glory in the wrong way. This happens when we are willing to do things that are wrong to feed our reputation, to get others to like us or approve of us. The person who lies in order to get others to admire her is an example of this. My wife and I are watching a Netflix series right now, “Inventing Anna,” which is a prime example of this. Anna wants wealth, influence, and to be thought well of among the ultra-rich of New York City. She is willing to lie, cheat, steal, and betray others in order to gain glory for herself. The self-destructive nature of vainglory comes out clearly in her life.
The last way that our desire for glory can be disordered is when we desire glory for the wrong reason. For followers of the Way of Christ, God deserves glory for all of the good things we have and are able to do. But sometimes we think we deserve glory, and we want it for ourselves. Badly. Rather than giving glory to God as the ultimate source of glory, and of our talents, gifts, and accomplishments, we take it for ourselves. Rather than acknowledging God as the giver, we believe the lie that we are self-sufficient. We may want glory from others more than God’s approval, which can lead to all sorts of problems in our relationships with them.
What can we do about this?
Helpful Practices
Solitude: We simply must carve out time to be alone, disconnected from devices and away from others. I’ve found this practice to be so helpful over the years, I don’t know why I don’t do it more. Start with 15 minutes, and build from there, if you find it useful. Being alone in nature can be especially meaningful and helpful.
Silence: This is an excellent practice to pair with solitude. Be alone and quiet, and some of our desires for glory will bubble up to the surface. There is another way of practicing silence that is helpful with vainglory. Stop talking about yourself, or at least do so less. Try to break the habit of seeking affirmation from other people. We sometimes run our own PR campaign with our words, trying to make ourselves look good. Let God be in charge of your reputation. The bonus here is that it creates space for you to listen, to compassionately hear others, and provide them the love and encouragement that they need. This takes us to the final practice, community.
Community: Create a community of good glory, where people encourage one another, provide a context for their gifts to be used for the good of others, and rejoice together that God is the ultimate source of it all. This is what a family should be, a group of close friends, and a local church.
If you aren’t sure how to engage in these practices, I highly recommend the classic work by Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline. It is intensely practical. It’s been several years since I’ve read it, and I’m planning on doing so again soon.
One more thing. The point of these practices isn't to get good at the practices. Rather, we engage in them because they are a time-tested means of opening ourselves up more fully to the grace of God in Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit.
We’ll continue our journey through the seven capital vices next month, when we examine envy.
One More Thing
I recently developed and gave a talk on how to talk to one another, and actually hear each other, in an age of polarization, as well as a 2 hour seminar for small group leaders. If you’re interested in having me come speak on these topics, shoot me an email at mike@michaelwaustin.com